That last post...

2008-06-25T02:52:00.000-04:00

... is really long. Metal.

I'm a gear in the wheel of KLOK...

2008-06-25T01:24:00.002-04:00

So this past weekend was a mix bag. I had a horrible philosophy assignment, where I had to summarize a 12 page paper on Moral Skepticism (Basically, a rejection of Moral Objectivism which results in a forced acceptance of Moral Subjectivism. Fun Times!), in 6 double space pages, being sure to summarize all the important parts, and offering critical insight. I do not expect a good mark on this, but I figure my newly found devotion to school (which is eerily disturbing to myself) will allow me to pull of a half decent mark in the course. A side benefit of actually studying on a regular basis is my parents give me less of a hard time about pretty much everything... But thats beside the point of this post.

What the point is, is what I did with my Friday night. On Friday night, Kayla and I took a trip to the Kool Haus in Toronto to see a concert featuring Soylent Green, Chimera, and Dethklok. Now, in case you aren't into Metal bands, or cartoons, Dethklok is a cartoon metal band. THE Cartoon Metal Band (Note the capitals. They stand for awesome). The cartoon, Metalocalypse, is about the adventures of Dethklok, who thanks to being the richest band in the world, being the 13 largest economy, just behind Belgium, can spend billions in order to make everything in the world metal. Including coffee. And its awesome. So awesome, that the creator and primary voice actor of the show, Brendon Small, who also created the cartoon Home Movies, formed a band to play Dethklok songs and tour around North America. And they are fucking metal. Really.

The show in general was a fairly intense experience. It started waiting in line, chatting with those around us, ogling the more extreme metal out fits, and pointing at the lone guy in corpse paint. From there, we moved onto the show, passing the tour bus, painted to resemble the Dethtrain, the most brutal train in existence, complete with blood splatter. We had a mandatory stop at the t-shirt booth, as Kayla had chosen to wear a brown t-shirt with a colourful design, which, as any metal head knows, is unacceptable. Luckily, they had girl shirts featuring Facebones, so Kayla was able to hide her shame. I was already wearing my Metalocalypse t-shirt, but in order to support my lords and master Dethklok, I picked up another. We moved into the main concert area, where Kayla proclaimed that it was officially the dirtiest crowd she had ever seen. She then decided that we should get as close to the front as possible, because apparently she wanted to be in a sea of dirty. I obliged.

Onto the show itself. The first thing that needs to be said is that it is probably the most intense crowd I had ever been in the middle of. The security was refreshingly lax, which is great at a metal show. No attempts were made to stop even the most violent of slam dancers. Elbows and headbutts were thrown, and a good time was had by me.

I'm not going to get into a super amount of detail about Soylent Green's or Chimera's sets, because who cares about them. Soylent Green I had never really heard, but there set was decent enough. The best part about it was that the crowd still had a lot of energy, so even though we were among the second row from the security gate, the massive mosh pit still managed to slam its way into us, giving me the opportunity to throw myself into the middle of a crowd of a couple hundred slam dancers, shoving and pushing, and kicking and punching to my violent heart's content.

I liked Chimera's set better, but thats probably because I know more of their stuff. The notable part about their set was that was when the crush started. Any one that has been in the first few rows of a concert has a general idea what I am talking about, but if you've never been to a metal concert, you are probably under estimating what I am talking about. At your usual show, you can expect a bit of elbowing and shoving. This went way past this, with full blown elbows to the face and people kneeing you in the back. There was one guy beside me who literally wedged his girlfriend elbow first between me and the guy beside me, and then started full out body checking her in order to wedge her further between us. It was to this violent crush of some of the dirtiest metal heads I have ever seen that Dethklok came on to stage too.

In short, Dethklok were fucking incredible. They played for over an hour with little cartoon breaks featuring a range of characters from the show every few songs, presumably to give Brendon Small, who's normal voice is nothing like that of Nathan Explosions, a chance to nurse his tortured vocal cords. Each song featured music videos being played on a giant screen behind the band. The cool part about that was that because they were playing the extended versions of the songs, even if the music video had been featured in the show, there would be new parts of it. The crowd was absolutely bat shit, with crush being dozens of people deep. I lost count of how many bloody faces I saw by the end of the set. Depending the song, the crowd alternated from throwing the horns in the air to having free for all brawls. Kayla managed to make it through about 1/2 - 2/3rds of the set before she couldn't handle the crush and the skeezey guy next to her constantly elbowing her to get closer to these Gods of Metal. I can't blame the guy, even while attempting inflict as much pain on him as was reasonable at the time. Even though the musicians looked like a bunch of thirty something computer programers, the sound coming from them was perfectly Dethklok. So we fought(literally) our way out to the edge of the crowd, and enjoyed the rest of the show with the rest of people sane enough not wanting to be in the middle of some sweaty, violent metal crowd. Even from there the show was awesome.

Altogether, I can't decide what my favourite part of the show was. It might of been the crowd, for being one of the dirtiest, most violent gatherings of metal heads I've ever been part of. It might of been Brendon Small, who looks like a giant wiener but managed to be as Metal (Notice the capital) as any person I've ever seen. It might of been Kayla, for not only buying the tickets for my birthday and going with me, but also for insisting that we stay in the mosh pit as long as possible, even though she was wearing these dinky slip on shoes and kept having her feet stepped on. And for elbowing that guy. Or it could of been the full on sex scenes added to the extended version of this video. Cause really, what is more metal then Viking Sex?

It has begun.

2008-06-18T19:34:00.000-04:00

It’s official. I’m finally up in this bitch. I’ve been meaning to start one of these beloggamajigs for awhile. But like most things that I mean to do, I take forever to start it. I have a bad habit of that. Once I get started on something, I usually follow it through. However, I love to procrastinate. Its one of the things I do, one of those things that make me, me. And it’s really not surprising. I can trace a lot of my characteristics back to my mother, and if she is good at one thing, its procrastination – I don’t know if my sister knows this, but she no longer has a room. My parents moved into it a few months back until they could clear off their bed. That hasn’t happened yet, but my mom has picked up bracelet making as a hobby, and her dedication is astounding. You can find her most nights at the kitchen table, going over her beads, and combining them in interesting ways, before she heads up to her stolen bed. Kayla already has a few bracelets, with more on the way. And if my mom has taught me anything, it’s the ways of the procrastinator… and the way of the smart ass.

However, despite my every effort to put this off until ‘sometime next week’, my sister, Heather, has supplied me with the perfect segue into the blogging world from her own page, Flavourphiliac. And while she misspelled both the name of my God and my cat in the process, (Not that I mind- Two of my three cats, Odin and Loki, are named after my Gods. I’m pretty sure that means people can refer to my Gods however they want and I’m not allowed to say anything) I am more then willing to seize the opportunity. And while this post is not the post she requested, that post will be coming shortly. This post is really to just test the waters, so to speak.

I don’t really know what exactly this whole thing will be about, other then ‘stuff’. Expect ramblings on Vikings, Samurai, Celts, Goths, Roman and other people that died along time ago. I have a general trend of disliking people, as they tend to annoy me. It’s hypocritical of me, as I am very annoying, but meh. Dead people, on the other hand, rarely ever annoy me, so I like them. Expect links to videos, songs and articles that I find interesting in some way or another – Such as This. Expect posts related to school, work, Taekwondo, religion, philosophy and pretty much anything else I deal with. Just expect everything aside to references to horse cocks… actually, religion may lead there. So expect pretty much anything.

I wonder how many hits that Horse Cock reference is going to get me…

Crookedleg's Hall

That last post...

I'm a gear in the wheel of KLOK...

It has begun.